Expired Food Has Nothing on These Fashion Statements Gone Bad

WTGB

Clear out the fridge and prepare the Tupperware: Thanksgiving’s around the corner, and that means leftovers. But if you’re planning to live on turkey sandwiches until Christmas, think again. Even in the fridge, turkey only stays fresh for two days—tops. And if that news is making you hangry, don’t you worry: The November issue of the Bathroom Minutes magazine contains a guide to expiration dates that has all your leftover needs covered.

But unfortunately, food that’s past its prime isn’t the only thing that will make your stomach turn—lots of other things go bad, too. For example, some of the most popular fashion styles over the past few decades have gone from “rad” to “sick”—and not in a good way. Such as…

Tie-Dye
“Wear-By” Date: The 1960s
Though tie-dye as we know it is credited to American hippies of the ‘60s, the traditional method for creating rainbow-colored clothing dates back to the sixth century. Take the Indian practice of Bandhani, for instance, which involves dip dyeing clothes to create colorfully dotted patterns. Nowadays, however, tie-dye is best reserved for Grateful Dead concerts.

Mutton Chops
“Wear-By” Date: The 1970s
The ‘70s are known for many experimental fashion statements, but the hairiest of them all was the mutton chop. Also know as sideburns, sideboards and side whiskers, mutton chops are facial hair gone haywire. And though they looked great on Elvis Presley during the ‘70s, it’s now time to leave the bushy burns to fictional characters like Wolverine.

The “Flock of Seagulls”
“Wear-By” Date: The 1980s
Like many things that leave a legacy, frontman Mike Score’s infamous hairstyle was a complete and total accident. As the story goes, Score was attempting to recreate a Bowie-style mullet when bassist Frank Maudsley anxiously pushed his way in front of the mirror. Amidst the scuffle, Score’s bangs flopped forward to create the foundation for every men’s ‘80s costume ever (non-Miami Vice edition).

Frosted Tips
“Wear-By” Date: The late 1990s
Made popular by boy band-ers like Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter, frosted tips were often kicked into high-gear by another ‘90s fashion faux pas: Gelled spikes. And while the world seems to agree that frosted tips are best left in the past, there is one man on a mission to buck the trend: American restaurateur, Camaro-appreciator and television personality: Guy Fieri.

Puka Shell Necklaces
“Wear-By” Date: The early 2000s
Originally crafted in Hawaii as a symbol of good luck, puka shell necklaces were traditionally given to sailors to ensure a safe journey home. Unfortunately for the islanders who saw their culture ruthlessly appropriated, the early 2000s made it almost impossible for us haoles to return from Waikiki without at least three puka shell necklaces. Hey, at least they were better than beads.