What’s the Best Way to Trim Your Pubes Without Making a Mess?

So glad you asked.

What’s the Best Way to Trim Your Pubes Without Making a Mess?

Quick: What’s the best way to trim your body hair without having to clear up a wild scattering of stray pubic tufts? Are you Team Over-the-Toilet? Team Sitting-on-the-Toilet? Team On-the-Bath-Mat? Team In-the-Shower? Team Write-Lengthy-Facebook-Posts-About-Why-Real-Men-Don’t-Manscape?

For such a silly topic, people sure have a lot of strong opinions on the matter. To settle the debate, we contacted Melanie Marie, a professional manscaper, to find out once and for all which is the most efficient method of pubic pruning.

“Obviously, the worst-case scenario is doing it in front of the sink, standing over your bath mat,” says Marie. “You’ll never be able to get all of that hair out.”

Noted! How about doing it over the toilet?

“Doing it while sitting on the toilet isn’t the best, because you can’t hit every angle, since your balls are cramped in between your legs,” explains Marie. “Depending on your clippers, you’re not going to be able to get the hair on your taint, and you might end up with your hands (and your buzzer) in the toilet water.”

This makes sense, but what about standing over the toilet, facing forward? “You’re still going to end up getting hair over your toilet seat and on the sides of your toilet,” says Marie.

So what is the best way to whack the weeds without making a mess?

“Start by using your buzzers in the bathtub — without any water,” says Marie. “Then use a Clorox wipe to pick up all the big hair and throw that in the trash before you go in for the wet shave in the shower, like you would your face.”

If, though, that seems like a few too many steps, is there a simpler way to go?

“I’ve had guys tell me they’ve done it in their backyard,” says Marie.

Huh.

Well, at least pubic hair is biodegradable.